Men’s Christmas Eve

Okay men, here’s the plan for today:

  1. Make some eggs, extra bacon and orange juice (not hot chocolate).  You’ll need a good breakfast. It’s going to be a long day.
  2. Over your shoulder announce: “got a few chores” as you head for the garage. Balance your breakfast and OJ out to the car. Strapped in? No spills? Good.
  3. Just nod to your buddies at the shopping center. Do not talk about the games etc.. Remember: they’re on a mission too.
  4. Check to see if the store provides wrapping service. If not, buy Scotch tape and wrapping paper.
  5. Reward yourself at the donut store when you’re done.
  6. When your wife says: “Be back in a minute.  Got to get a couple of things”, bring in the remaining donuts. The kids will be distracted for maybe 10 minutes and then off to play.
  7. This is the time to unload your car, head directly to your bedroom and lock the door. When/If a little one bangs on the door say: “I’m changing”, which, is a stretch, but you are making a resolution to shop earlier next Christmas.
  8. Take the wrapped gifts back to the car before your wife gets back.
  9. Wear a ball cap when you start watching the game. This way you can pull it down and take a quick snooze. They’ll all laugh but, hey, it’s part of the plan. You’ll be up until the wee hours.
  10. As soon as the last one is in bed begin the building process. You won’t be done till 2 AM. After all, who needs to look at the instructions

When you collapse into bed you won’t have visions of sugar plums dancing in your head. It’ll be: “Dang, I’ve got to start earlier next year” which, like your New Year’s resolutions, last about as long as the nap you snuck in earlier.

Merry Christmas

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Bot Detection: What year was the year before last year?