Okay men, here’s the plan for today:
- Make some eggs, extra bacon and orange juice (not hot chocolate). You’ll need a good breakfast. It’s going to be a long day.
- Over your shoulder announce: “got a few chores” as you head for the garage. Balance your breakfast and OJ out to the car. Strapped in? No spills? Good.
- Just nod to your buddies at the shopping center. Do not talk about the games etc.. Remember: they’re on a mission too.
- Check to see if the store provides wrapping service. If not, buy Scotch tape and wrapping paper.
- Reward yourself at the donut store when you’re done.
- When your wife says: “Be back in a minute. Got to get a couple of things”, bring in the remaining donuts. The kids will be distracted for maybe 10 minutes and then off to play.
- This is the time to unload your car, head directly to your bedroom and lock the door. When/If a little one bangs on the door say: “I’m changing”, which, is a stretch, but you are making a resolution to shop earlier next Christmas.
- Take the wrapped gifts back to the car before your wife gets back.
- Wear a ball cap when you start watching the game. This way you can pull it down and take a quick snooze. They’ll all laugh but, hey, it’s part of the plan. You’ll be up until the wee hours.
- As soon as the last one is in bed begin the building process. You won’t be done till 2 AM. After all, who needs to look at the instructions
When you collapse into bed you won’t have visions of sugar plums dancing in your head. It’ll be: “Dang, I’ve got to start earlier next year” which, like your New Year’s resolutions, last about as long as the nap you snuck in earlier.